Why me?
by Kasumiya
Summary: Why me? Always the first question to come to mind when you're in an abusive relationship. But when Vegeta starts losing his temper more frequently will Goku break the cycle or sit around wondering, "Why me?" YAOI VegetaxGoku


A/N: I was thinking of something that happened to me once, something that happens to a lot of people.  
I was smart enough to get out of the relationship... after awhile. I wonder how long it will take Goku.  
(I was gonna make this a BulmaxYamcha because he seems like a two-faced bastard who would beat women, but yaoi is more fun.) Oh, and the dbdbdb's will let you know when I've switched POV's from Goku to Vegeta.  
  
Disclaimer; I don't own DBZ but most of this story is based on real life.  
Warnings: YAOI, abusive relationship issues  
  
Why me?  
  
I smiled over at him as he drank his coffee and he smiled back. Today would be a good day. I ran my hand through my unruly hair and yawned. I'd been out late last night with Chi Chi, discussing when I would take Goten. After the divorce she agreed to shared custody. Vegeta set his cup down and looked over at me. We had gotten together soon after the divorce. Surprisingly, Bulma didn't mind at all. She even had us a capsule home built.  
  
Vegeta said something about she wanted kids and he wanted two sons to make him proud. But he got Bra. He was still very proud of his daughter. At times, most times, she had him wrapped around her little finger. He was very protective of his little girl. And Trunks, although Vegeta was hard on him at times. They both had boyfriends now and whenever he went to visit them they were out. Trunks still stopped by to visit but Bra was still mad at him for leaving. I don't think she's too fond of me, either.  
  
I smiled. She'd get over it though. I was roused from my thoughts by a tapping sound. Vegeta tapping his fingers on the hardwood table. "Something wrong, koi?" I asked. His faint smile had faded. "So what were you doing last night, Kakkarot?" I tilted my head to the side and quirked an eyebrow. "I told you, I was at ChiChi's, talking to her about Goten." Vegeta frowned and stood up, walking into the next room without a word.  
  
Now that was odd. Vegeta didn't act like that... much. I stood to follow my lover but heard a door slam.  
"What the--" I tried to think if I had said anything wrong, but I don't think I had. I was again roused from my thoughts as the phone rang. I hurried to the visa-phone and was surprised to see ChiChi. "Um, hey,  
ChiChi. How are you." She faintly smiled and ran a hand through her graying hair. "Um, could I see you for a few minutes today, Goku? I've got something important I'd like to ask you."  
  
"Well, Vegeta just stormed off, he must be in one of his moods. So... I suppose I've got some free time right now." ChiChi smiled brightly at me. "That's great. I'll see you in a few minutes." I nodded and hung up the phone. Hmm, now where was a pen, I needed to write Vegeta a note so he wasn't wondering about where I was. I rummaged through one of the drawers and found some paper and a pencil.  
  
Dear 'Geta,  
Had to go see ChiChi about something important. See you in a few, I shouldn't be too long.  
Let's make plans for dinner or something.  
Love Goku  
  
It was just a short little note but that's all it really needed to be. I ran upstairs and put a shirt on, Vegeta's favorite. It fit me like a second skin and it was black. Then, with a two finger salute I arrived in front of my former home. I walked in the door half expecting for Goten to be in trouble but he wasn't even there. Chi-  
Chi was in the kitchen, as usual, cooking. I grinned.  
  
"That smells deliscious." She turned from the sink, wiping her hair out of her face and dried her hands on a towel before crossing the tile floor to meet me. She hugged me and I hugged her back. "I'm glad you came, Goku." I nodded and followed her to the front room where we sat on the couch. "So what did you need to talk to me about?" She sighed and brushed her hair out of her face again.  
  
"It's just that... Goten misses you--I miss you. We... we really want you to come home, Goku." I stared at her. What was she thinking. "I have a home, ChiChi, and it isn't here. It hasn't been here since you divorced me." ChiChi clasped her hands together in her lap. I scoffed, mentally. Sure, she acts all nice when she wants something. She may have been the one to divorce me but I haven't forgot the way she treated me. Like I was one of her children, as opposed to her husband.  
  
"Goku, I didn't know what else to do. You were always dead, and when you weren't dead you were never home." I let a small frown appear on my face before letting out a sigh. "It wasn't my fault, ChiChi. I was never home because I was out saving the world, our world, from being destroyed. And when I was dead, that wasn't my fault either. But you always blamed me." ChiChi feigned shock. "I never -blamed- you."  
She cried.  
  
I scoffed. "Oh, please, ChiChi. I could never make you happy. I was always doing something wrong, whether it was teaching Gohan to fight or making the bed." ChiChi leaned over and whispered, "You could make me happy, now." And she threw her arms around me and kissed me. My eyes grew wide and I shoved her away.  
  
"ChiChi! Stop it! I'm with Vegeta now. You lost your chance." I shouted, standing up and taking a few steps back. "And next time you want something--have Goten call." I shook my head. I didn't like to yell but she had crossed the line. As I walked out of the house I could feel her eyes burning into my back.  
I decided to fly home so I could clear my head. When I got home Vegeta was standing in the doorway waiting for me.  
  
"Have a nice visit?" He asked, sarcastically. I half-smiled and threw my arms around his neck. He didn't return the embrace and I pulled back to look into his eyes. They were clouded over with something I couldn't place my finger on. "Kiss me." He ordered. I blinked but leaned down and kissed him anyways.  
He growled and pushed me into the house, slamming the door behind us.  
  
"What were you doing over there, Kakkarot?" I stared at him. "N-nothing, 'Geta. Why are you so mad at me?" He frowned. "You liar! You smell like her-- you even taste like her! You were kissing her!" I shook my head. "No, she-she kissed me! She asked me to come home and I hold her that I was home. With you." Vegeta didn't beleive me. "Bullshit!" He screamed and pushed me again.  
  
I tumbled backwards and hit the tile floor with a thump. "Vegeta, I'm telling you the truth! I-I love you!"  
Vegeta leaned down and grabbed my shirt, pulling my face inches from his. "You'd better be telling me the truth, Kakkarot, because if I find out you're going behind my back with that little tramp I will not, for one second, hesitate to put you in your place." I gulped. I'd seen Vegeta act mean, ruthless even, but nothing like this. I knew I was stronger but his eyes overpowered me.  
  
My lip quivered. "I'm not lying Vegeta. I love you. I would never leave you." Vegeta let go of my shirt and stared at me for a moment before offering me his hand and helping me up. I hugged him and he hugged me back without hesitation. "Let's go out to dinner." He said in my ear and I smiled. I'm glad he was done acting like that. It scared me.  
  
We went out to dinner at some fancy restaraunt and had a few drinks. As we stumbled in the front door Vegeta went up the stairs to our room. "I'll be up in a minute, babe." I said, looking at the blinking light on the answering machine. I ran my hands through my hair and pressed the play button. As ChiChi's voice rang out I frowned. What the hell was she doing?  
  
"Hey, Goku. I just called to say that I really enjoyed our little talk today. I hope we get to talk again soon.  
I'll call you." I growled and deleted the message and started to climb the stairs. Vegeta stood at the top of them, his arms crossed and a scowl on his face. "Nothing, eh?" He spat. I opened my mouth to speak but no words came out. I hurried to the top of the stairs and looked into his eyes. "Vegeta, I don't know what she's doing. She's trying to break us up. You can't beleive her." Vegeta scoffed.  
  
"I'm having trouble believing -you-." I stared at him, the hurt apparent across my features. "Vegeta?" I said quietly. His eyes were clouded over like before. I reached out and put my hand on his arm and he jerked back."You're lying to me and I don't like it." I frowned. "Vegeta, I am -not- lying to you." He reached out suddenly and grabbed my by the shoulders. "Can you prove it? Where's your precious brat to save your ass now? Because I bet you that he wasn't there when you 'talked' to that onna, was he?"  
  
I gulped and shook my head. "Vegeta, I would never go behind your back. I told you, I love you. I have no reason to ever leave you. Why won't you trust me?" Vegeta loosened his grip and I gently pushed him away. Then came a knock at the door. Vegeta looked at me, then stormed down the stairs. The person knocked again, louder, and Vegeta flung the door open. ChiChi stood on the other side of it and Vegeta growled.  
  
I stood, wide-eyed, at the top of the stairs. What the -hell- was she doing? "Oh, Vegeta. I just came to give these to Goku. He forgot them at my house today. I guess he was in a hurry to come home and see you." She held up a pair of boxers and my eyes got twice as wide as before. Vegeta snatced them out of her hand and grabbed the collar of her shirt.  
  
"Onna, I swear to all that is holy that if you come anywhere near my lover or my house I won't, for one second, hesitate to snap your pretty little neck." ChiChi nodded and he let go of her. She smoothed out her dress and turned to leave, then she looked over her shoulder at me and cooed, "Bye, Goku." Vegeta growled loudly and slammed the door in her face, then turned and stalked up the stairs, giving me a glare that sent shivers up my spine. As he came closer I took a step backwards and almost fell.  
  
"What--is--THIS?" He shouted, throwing the boxers in my face. "I-I don't know, Vegeta! I'm telling you the truth! I've never lied to you before!" Vegeta grabbed my face and stared into my eyes. "I don't know what's going on, Kakkarot, but I don't like it. I will not loose you. You are mine! She can't take you away from me and if she tries I will destroy her." He said in a low whisper, his grip on my face tightening. "V-Vegeta, let go of me. You're hurting me."  
  
"I'm hurting you? -I'm- hurting -you-?" He shouted in my face. I tried to push him away but he wouldn't let go. He laughed, breifly, but it was odd sounding, almost maniacle. "Ve-ge-ta! Let me go!" I said through clenched teeth. He wouldn't release his grip on my face. I tried to push him away again and he let go of me. I turned and tried to walk away from him but he spun me around and growled. "It's true, isn't it? You are fucking that little bitch, aren't you?"  
  
"Vegeta, you're losing it. Just-- just get away from me." Vegeta's eyes got wide and he pushed me away from him. I stumbled back and lost my balance, tumbling down the stairs. I must've hit my head or some-  
thing because when I came to Vegeta was kneeling over me, shaking me. "Kakkarot! Please open your eyes! Wake up! I'm--I'm sorry!" I blinked until the world was no longer blurry and looked up at Vegeta. He raised his hand to touch my face and I jerked away. He sighed and pulled me into his arms.  
  
"I'm sorry." He whispered, kissing my forehead. I reached up and felt the back of my head and when I looked at my hand it was covered in blood. "Wh-what happened?" Vegeta looked at me with concern written across his features. "What do you mean what happened? Don't you remember?" I looked up at him for a moment before burying my face in his shirt. "I remember we were arguing and then I fell." I knew that he had pushed me but I decided to just play it off.  
  
Vegeta sighed and gathered me in his arms, carrying me towards the bathroom. "I think I can walk, love." I whispered. Vegeta kissed my forehead again. "I don't care. I want to take care of you right now."  
I nodded and let him. He sat me down on the edge of the tub and helped me out of my clothes. The back of my shirt was sticky from the blood. I cringed as it dripped down the back of my neck. With a deep sigh I slid into the hot water and smiled at Vegeta. No matter what I could never stay mad at him.  
  
He took my hand in is and smiled sadly at me. "I'm sorry, Kakkarot, that I didn't trust you. I just think of you with someone else and it drives me insane. If you ever left me I don't know what I'd do..." I smiled back at him and kissed his hand.  
  
dbdbdbdb  
  
I sighed and watched him get dressed in his pajamas. I really didn't mean to push him down the stairs.  
Just the very thought of him with that shrewd woman made me crazy. I won't believe it. I can't. He... he would never turn his back on me... would he? I wrapped my arms around him as he lay down next to me in bed. I kissed his neck, running my tongue along the scar on his neck. The bite mark that claims him as mine. Yes, he is mine! And I will not let anyone take him away from me. Not even he himself. I would take his life before I let him share it with someone else.  
  
Kakkarot gently touched my face, staring into my eyes a moment before kissing me softly. I don't know what I would do if I ever found him kissing someone else like he kisses me. I would kill. I look over at him and watch him pretend to sleep. Yes. He is mine, even if I have to kill him to keep him all to myself. I knew he wasn't sleeping, but I closed my eyes and steadied my breathing, just to see what he would do once he thought I was asleep as well.  
  
As soon as he thought me to be asleep he rolled over and I could feel his body shaking. He was crying.  
I glared at the back of his head. Sometimes I was convinced his innocent act was just that, an act. Then he has to go and prove that he really is like a child. A big, scared child, cringing away from the hand that beats him and clinging to the one that shows him love. Even if the hand is one and the same. I knew he would never fight back, even if I were to beat him within an inch of his life.  
  
So much like a child. Eventually growing to beleive that he is deserving of the punishment. I've seen it so much on this planet. Abuse. Bulma had been beaten by Yamcha, and she wondered all that time why I did not like him. Did she think I didn't know? I would have killed him, not for her but simply because I dislike him, but he wasn't worth the energy it would take to destroy him. Which wasn't much.  
  
I silently fumed. Was he crying because I had pushed him or because he really did deserve it?  
  
The next morning as I was cooking breakfast the phone rang. I glared at it as I walked over to answer it.  
"Yes?" The image that appeared was of Kakkarot's oldest brat. "Hello, Vegeta. Is my father there?" I glanced at the stairs and back to the phone. "He's... still sleeping." Gohan nodded, and pushed his glasses up on his nose. "Well coud you tell him that you're both invited to a barbeque at my house?  
It's at three o'clock. I hope you guys can make it." He said with a smile. I nodded and glanced at the stairs again.  
  
"Are you okay? Vegeta? Is something wrong?" I shook my head and turned back to the boy. "No. Nothing at all. I suppose we'll see you at three." He smiled and waved before hanging up the phone. I sighed and walked up the stairs. He was still sleeping. I knelt down next to him and gently shook his shoulder. He blinked and smiled up at me. "Gohan called. He wants us over for a barbeque at three," Kakkarot sat up and grinned at the prospect of food. "What time is it now, 'Geta?" I looked over at the clock.  
  
"Noon." He blinked. "I slept that long? Why didn't you wake me up?" I shrugged. "You needed some rest,  
and I was going to make us breakfast when the phone rang. Goku stretched and yawned, looking over at the closet, then back at me. He smiled, looking over what I was wearing. Tight black jeans, torn at the knees and on the upper thighs, and a skin tight black tank top. I also wore my black leather fingerless gloves. He leaned over and kissed me, roughly. I was almost surprised.  
  
I pushed him back on the bed and kissed my way to his neck. He chuckled and ran his fingers through my hair. I smirked at him and pushed his shirt up to expose his perfect stomach. His whole body was perfect. And it's mine. And I'm about to make it mine again.  
  
dbdbdbdb  
  
I smiled over at the clock. The one thing I love about the first few years of a relationship is make-up sex.  
Vegeta smirked at me as he pulled his black boots back on and tied them. It was 2: 50. We had to get going. I threw on a tight blue tee shirt and some baggy jeans and we were out the door. As we flew over the city towards my son's house I wondered if last night was just an accident. I knew Vegeta had a bad temper, but he had never really taken it out on me before unless we were sparring. When we landed in Gohan's backyard I smiled, rushing up to my oldest son and enveloping him in a bear hug. I felt some-  
one tap my shoulder and I tuned around to face Goten.  
  
"Goten, ohh, man it's been a while since I saw--" I stopped in the middle of my sentence. ChiChi stood five feet in front of me, smiling sweetly and waving. I gulped and looked over at Vegeta, who was glaring at us both. I turned back to Gohan and whispered, "Gohan, you didn't tell Vegeta that ChiChi was coming did you?" He quirked an eyebrow and shook his head. "Well, no. I kinda figured he'd know that. It -is- a family barbeque."  
  
I sighed and nodded, looking over at Vegeta again. He was leaning against a tree with his eyes closed, eyebrows knit together in a scowl. "Dad, is something wrong? Why would Vegeta care if mom was here?  
What's going on?" I put my arm around Gohan's shoulder and led him over to the picnic table. "Look, son,  
the other day your mother tried to get me to come back to her and I refused. I told her that my home was with Vegeta now. I love him. She... kissed me and I left. Vegeta could smell her and taste her on me and he thought that I was going behind his back. He was very upset."  
  
Gohan stared at me with wide eyes. "What do you mean upset? Dad, did something happen? Did he hit you or something?" I shook my head and blatantly lied to my son. "Nothing happened. He was just very hurt by the thought of me leaving him. I explained what happened and then ChiChi--your mother... she came over trying to cause trouble. She threw a pair of my boxers in his face and told him that I had left them at her house earlier. So Vegeta's just been very upset, and suspiscious of your mother and I. But I swear nothing happened between us."  
  
Gohan nodded. "I know dad. I trust you. I'll see to it that she doesn't start any problems." I smiled and hugged my son. "Thanks, Gohan. I love you, son." I smiled at him and walked back over to my love. He opened his eyes as I approached him. "Hey, sexy." I said, with a grin. He didn't say anything at first and then he reached out and grabbed my arm. Not violently or anything, just grabbed it and pulled me very close to him.  
  
"If I see you anywhere near her, Kakkarot..." He said, leaving the treat hanging in the air for a moment before giving me a kiss. He let go of my arm and placed his hand in mine. "Let's go eat." I grinned at him and we headed towards the smell of food.  
TBC  
  
A/N; Whoa. Whew. It was really hard to write from Vegeta's POV. I don't know much about being abusive.  
I'm a good monkey. Hope I didn't suck it up too bad. Review please, or I don't know what I'll do! Actually, I'll probably just pout and not post any new chapters. Wait, why did I say that?? Now nobody's gonna review! x.x 


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